ENTRY NUMBER ONE: Posted 4/5/2024
Welcome to my blog!
This probably won't be very much like my tumblr, I'll be putting more serious stuff here. I've been working on an essay about anarcho-communism that I expect to finish soon and might post to this site. You can also expect ramblings about gender dysphoria and depression/mental health.
GENERAL TRIGGER WARNINGS: Eating disorders, depression, self-harm, transphobia/homophobia, detailed and graphic descriptions of poor mental health, horror
ENTRY NUMBER TWO: Posted 5/13/2024
I think being self aware is almost worse. I know that I'm destroying myself, I know that I need to eat. I know logically that I'm not disgusting or anything for eating. I know that there's nothing wrong with food and that moralizing it is bad.
But I can't actually do anything about it. There's something fucked up in my brain. Every time I eat I almost feel sick. The idea of consuming calories is terrifying. When I see people drink regular soda or eat without thinking about it it makes me so fucking jealous. They don't even know how good they have it. Maybe one day I'll recover. Maybe one day I'll fucking die. I don't know. All I know is that for now I'm drinking diet soda and wishing I was fixed.